Swirl Antara

This was going to be my entry in a contest before I learned that they only accepted short stories......tell me what you think!! Last evening's light snowfall icing trees' naked ...

Chapter One: Where It All Began It all began in New York City. Krista lived in the Park Ave. Hotel, on the fifteenth floor. Her parents were very wealthy. Why ...

It's interesting, and definitly builds up the suspense. First, You say just 'he' alot, when there's more than one he in the room and it can throw off the reader. ...

I'm lost

I still don't really get who he is. Why is he affiliated with YWS?

First, I agree very much with the other comments! Second, this could be longer. My prologue is short too, but this needs just a little bit more for it to ...

It's good, I just think that some line should be separated. ex. when i look outside the door to the mirror /my face is as pale as a ghosts i ...

any ideas for what?

Good story! It hooked me and I really want to know what happens next! There were some grammatical errors, so remember to proofread! Other than that, there wasn't much to ...

sure!umm... so the main character is the guy right? and he's a vampire-ish character (I'm assuming this because of the bloody fangs)And he's being chased by an enemy. I think ...

It really is preferrable if you put it into text. The Shadowy figure dashed with lightning speed straight at her, she screamed and was thrown back with such a force ...

We're all here for constructive criticism, so you're in luck! PM me when you write anything and I'll review it!

I fear that I am becoming normal I feel like my individuality is being swallowed whole and leaving me an obedient clone I've always wanted to fit in and to ...

What exactly do you want us to review?this is just facts, so there's few writing errors we could comment on, no parts of the plot that don't make sense.

A fragment from my werewolf story, to read the prologue, go to also, I make at least one reference to 'our' or 'we' in this part, and I'm referring to ...